A day trip from Cancun, Mexico

I am going to rant, but first of all I want to say that I liked Mexico a lot – even the uber tourist bit around Cancun. It was more beautiful than I was expecting with amazing birds and groovy giant iguanas that hung out around the bars. Mexican people are short, joyous and generally helpful. Bus drivers pick you up from anywhere en route for example. Real Mexican food is mouth-watering and Moorish. Feel the salsa groove.

Just be warned about the day trips. The day trip we chose was for Chichen Itza, the Mayan site (recently named as one of the new 7 wonders of the world), cenote Dzitnup (deep limestone sink hole) and Valladolid. We paid $700 Mexican each in downtown Cancun. At the resort they were about $1200 a person.

We get picked up at 7.30am in a little bus, driven to a bigger bus, driven to a deserted shopping mall with the tourist memorabilia shop open, forced to queue in lines – drink all you want armbands line up over here – getting the picture?

Eventually we get on the tour bus with our English speaking guide. He introduces himself as genuine Mayan. Never went to school till he was 26 then only Saturdays and Sundays. Being a tour guide is the dream job. Round of applause. Fills us in on half an hour of Mayan history. Good so far. He passes round trinkets and artefacts – special emotion stones, epsilon daggers etc then a very long talk about the Mayan language which is hieroglyphics/pictures. Bit of flattery – very few tourists actually visit the site – try to understand the culture. We can be especially privileged to have our own signed masterpiece of Mayan writing which will have our name, birth date. The cost will pay for three Mayan children to go to school. We all pay up. You would be an absolute turd not to do so.

We then arrive in a Mayan village special tourist shop. As we get off the coach our picture is taken. The items are not as nice as other tourist outlets and no better prices. Then we get hoarded off to eat. On the bus we were promised real Mexican food. It’s standard all inclusive buffet – everything and nothing so as not to offend the fussy eater – pasta, rice, salad, mashed potato, vegetables, chicken, fish, pork. We get overcharged for the beer and I have to point out his own price list. Some local dancing. More asking for money.

When we get back on the bus a young man offers us a Mayan liquor shot. After we drink it he tells us about how he is saving for his uni fees and produces half bottles with a label that has on it a picture of Chichen Itza, your photo and the date. I have to say I was impressed in spite of myself with his entrepreneurial spirit. We bought it.

Chichen Itza is great. The only down side was we spent so long following the guide we did not have enough time at the end to see the whole site.

The sinkhole was my highlight. Intensely atmospheric. It was also a model of how to manage the tourist hordes with class. Landscaped gardens. Nice restaurant and bar. One gift shop. Mass changing rooms. Swim suit and life jacket hire. Shower to get the chemicals off. Down the steps. No queues. Amazing underground pool full of big black fish, clear and cool water, a place to jump in from on high. Ladder down one way, up another way. Considering most people on the bus would not swim they were raking it in, but it was done really well.

Valladolid was a 20 minute stop which was disappointing as I would have liked longer. We just about had enough time to look in the church and round the square and we were warned our safety could not be guaranteed outside this zone.

The 2 hour journey there and back is on a very expensive toll road so the number of vehicles you see is in single figures and all you can see from the bus is dense forest either side. That’s disappointing too.

We finally get home, but not before our guide has asked for a tip and told us exactly how much tip he should be getting. By this time I have pretty much lost all respect. The hard sell has its drawback. We planned to make two organised trips. In the end we took one.

We made our own way to Puerto Morales and Isla de Mujeres – they are both lovely, the latter a must for anyone with hip pretensions. The turtle farm is worth a visit. I had never seen turtles so close up and was unaware how beautifully coloured their shells are.

We stayed at Sunset Marina using my timeshare points. It had a faded elegance and lots of green which suited me. I backed off from the inevitable timeshare presentation when one of the team again went in too hard on the sell. When they are brutal it suggests the product is not very prestigious and it wasn’t. Crammed in high rise, no balconies, dirty cushions on the sunbeds. Better not to have them at all.

Two other places I would like to recommend to eat are in downtown Cancun.
Restaurant Bon Appetite Av Uxmal 25 (great for breakfast) and restaurant el jarro café whose nachos de arrachera was too much for two of us twice. The second time I got a doggy bag and gave the leftovers to a beggar.

I would definitely go back to Mexico, but a different part. Why does Trump want to build a wall?