Life turns a 50s corner

On the evening of J2’s birthday, December 7th 2010, I heard some news that may mean my life has turned its 50s corner.

Basically I had booked my ticket to come home February in time to see J1 before he goes off to Afghanistan and I had made a decision that I would not return for another full year because a) I point blank could not cope with another sexually arid year, b) I was afraid that this might irrevocably damage my relationship with FP and that it was come home or lose him.

Though I was clear it was the right thing to do I also felt bad that I was ‘giving up’ early, had nothing meaningful work wise to come home to and that I might be fretful before long. As you do in these situations I asked myself what I would really like to do. What I really wanted to do was come home for 2 months, go back for 3 months, come home for 2 months go back for 3 months AND I also wanted to change the genre of my work from the Institutional Development process which the commune executive are not taking remotely seriously to one where I focused a layer down, on individual councillors, tribal chiefs (lawanes), small businesses, (commercants) and female associations in villages (GICs). I want to work on raising awareness on getting legal papers for land and property (in the west we use these to raise capital and make better use of what would otherwise be ‘dead money’ – they can’t get credit on property in the extreme north), putting together groups of local people with sufficient knowledge between them to repair wells ( I have already had some success, mending 2 forages in 3 trips that had been broken 5 years), female literacy (it is proven that women who read have less children) and birth registration (if children aren’t registered they can’t go to school beyond a primary grade).

I did really put it in God’s hands and on this night the Deputy Director rang me and both he and the Country Director gave a resounding yes – and it wasn’t just that he said yes, it was all the other things he said – and this guy Mohammed is A grade impressive.

He said they totally appreciated my positive attitude, my creativity, my flexibility, that I never just moaned about difficulties, but always came up with creative ways of getting round them, they love the fact that I am so ‘calm’, that me for short placements was greater value than starting a new person for 2 years – blah blah – I just wanted him to get off the phone then so I could jump round the room shrieking for joy. How exciting is my life going to be next year? Long stretches at home with FP ( and I have checked and he is OK about this! ) where I can fix the house, visit friends, chill; then back to hot sunny African climes to do work I really believe in and then a repeat until November. Basically I will be home February-March and July-August and back for Christmas 2011. And if I prove myself there is every hope that VSO will use me in this fashion again and hopefully if FP is going through a quiet patch he will come with me.

When I last worked with a career coach when I was at EC1 (thank you Julia Thrul) working in the developing world WITH a strong focus on family and friends was my dream. I feel suddenly after every door I tried to open pushed shut against me – all those redundancies – all those times of not being ‘good enough’ or chosen – may for a while be at an end. How fantastic is that!

Phew! After that euphoric note what else is there to tell you?