being practical

Our ducks – Winnie and Mandela

How are you?

I must have last written over a week ago. What is new to report? I found out today from my solicitor that the paper I thought implied FH was keeping back the endowment isn’t actually an endowment certificate at all, but something else. This was nice in a way, because although I may be poorer as a consequence I take comfort from FH being fair and honest about stuff. Anyway, he is just having a final check – then it is all systems go. I shall be getting my final papers through in weeks and no doubt I shall be sad when I open the envelope.

I have also been looking at car insurance for A* and J1. J1 will be 17 early August and as I bought A* insurance for one year I wanted to do the same for him. I found out today it will cost £2.5 – £3k for him whereas A* was £1k. I can’t afford that so I am giving A* the option of paying for an additional 3 months for herself at £80-£100 a month (which she may feel is worth it) and then I will give Joe 5-6 months so at least he can get driving skills entrenched before he has a period of enforced abstinence.

I had a very practical week-end. FP came up and helped me – actually he did it – reseal around the bath. All the decorating in the hall I got paid on insurance is blackening again with mildew as the bath is obviously still leaking. I also did all the garden, FP attempted to mend all my broken chairs, 2/4 at least and I tidied the house. He also took me shopping for saucepans, tefal ones, as he says mine are atrocious and he can’t cook eggs without breaking them. It’s weird adjusting to labouring with a boyfriend. I felt quite uncertain and nervous about it, especially as once task focused I am very driven. It was also salutary that someone actually wanted to, or at the least didn’t seem to mind, helping me which in all honesty my husband did. He hated anything connected with maintenance.

Last week I met Sue, the specialist divorce counsellor and we are looking at setting up a support group which she will chair for 6-8 people who have been left. Watch this space. She says I will be empowered from using my sorrow to enable others. Umm! I am also getting an invite to go to one of her divorce recovery workshops so I will fill you in when it happens.

I also had a day down in London on Scarman bizz and have recruited a secondment from some government department to be guided by me (as long as Scarman are mad enough to keep me on) as Operations Manager for the East. He is a cat-loving, gay man with disabilities.  I believe he has front and potential and I am good at bringing out the best in employees so I shall try my hardest.

I have spent most of last week doing appraisals and writing committee papers so I have being seeing stars from too much close screen work. I am going to get my eyes tested as I think one of my eyes has really deteriorated over the last year.

Do you remember last time I told you that J1 hadn’t spoken to me for a week because I wouldn’t pay the deposit for his ski trip? I found out this week he lied and borrowed money from a friend to pay the deposit. Fine – except I don’t know how he is going to save the other £500. Within the same hour J2 threw an absolute wobbly with me because I insisted he came with me to take his video back, slamming the car door and shouting. I must have been distracted by the pair of them as I promptly reversed out into a taxi. Luckily, even under duress I am never manical and I just broke his wing mirror, but it upset me and I am still waiting for taxi man to come and claim an inordinate amount of dosh.

Even as I write I’ve had to break off and comfort a tearful J1 which sort of puts his lies in perspective, even though I don’t condone lying. All FH wants him to do is meet G, who yes, intermittent horror for me, arrives tomorrow for a week or so and J1 always feels the hardest done by of the 3 as J2 gets football treats (taken to the FA cup final on Saturday as they are both devout Millwall supporters) and A* ingratiates herself with G so scores lots of brownie points there. However, it could be worse – I’ve paid for him to go to the Globe tomorrow night with his school mates – and he loves his theatre so I hope he will be inspired.

There are a couple of socials coming up at work, but it’s weird how I have got out of the habit of going out and spending £30 on a night out. I’ll have to watch it now as FP is back earning regularly I’m beginning to realise if he has cash he will spend it and think me a boring fart if I don’t join in. I am also incapable of night time activity beyond 12. Dull git I have become.

That’s about it for this week. I know I witter on, but it is about stuff on a different orbit from your experiences so hopefully is variably entertaining to you. I’ve also enclosed an interesting article I read about a famous lawyer who you have probably hard of.

Big hugs. I have not forgotten you.