what a difference a week makes

I hope you are keeping well and enjoying your beautiful surroundings in the good weather. Do you have long grass or short grass these days – or no grass even?!! What a difference a week makes and how much can happen! The old Citroen AX failed its MOT and was going to cost so much to repair the garage advised me against it. A* went ape and suddenly, the idea of having a year out did not seem so attractive when she didn’t have wheels to run around in. This was compounded by a long conversation with B who informed her that he is coming back for 3 weeks and then is going away for 6 months so they mutually decided a relationship was not on the cards and suddenly she is actually reading the prospectus from Durham and finding out about the course AND revising! I have to admit to a wry smile. My only reservation is that all the emotions, including about the divorce were out in the open for the first time. Now they are all back tightly under control and I wonder when they will get the opportunity to surface again. In a way, a year out would have given her space to address that and truly get over it. Now I just don’t know.

Useless, terrible mother that I am, and I really got the full works – including ‘mother you are so up and down you really should consider tablets’ – my issue is I just go silent when faced with a tirade. I am afraid of saying something that would damage our relationship for ever and I don’t want to do that. I am beginning to understand that it is frustrating for people when you withdraw, but I’ve needed to do that to cope with painful situations over the last two years. Anyway – I have investigated selling the Freelander to buy two cheaper cars one of which A* and J1 could share. However, they were unprepared to do the saving from their Saturday jobs to contribute to the cost of insurance etc. so I have made a decision to sell the Freelander anyway and buy a diesel C3 which will be much cheaper to run. I now have a month to sell the Freelander which has a squeaky reverse gear and a silencer about to go as the price they offered me at the garage was so awful. Watch this space! I have never done anything like this before.

Better news on the job front. I have tackled my boss about shouting at me and put in for a job re-evaluation as I have taken on a lot more responsibility. There is no guarantee that my salary will go up, but it would be nice if it did! The horse had a puncture in his sole and the farrier cut the sensitive bit out (a bit like a corn) and re-shod him and he seems fine again now. My friend Siobhan is about to start co-habiting again. She has been a soul mate to me during my desertion as her husband left at the same time, so I am really glad for her. That makes her plus two other friends who have actually got married in the last year. I remember at my 44^th birthday there were about 6 single women and they are now decreasing rapidly! It’s very comforting to see friends who were in so much distress move on – it gives me hope! Today is two years exactly since I got the telephone call from G’s husband and I don’t feel too mournful so the issues are obviously mellowing even for me.

I am going to meet Hitchin Town Centre anager this morning to monitor his service level agreement. I hope you are still able to do interesting work and that the house is progressing in leaps and bounds. Big hug.