still not good

My second dog Jazz as a puppy

27^th April 2004

Obsessing – spend more time thinking about FH now than I probably did when we were married which would both amuse him/justify his perception of our former relationship

The move to Luton Hoo – very glamorous for the children. They are all over him at the moment.

Former mutual friends hosting a BBQ for him, our children, his mum and sister.

No longer paying maintenance, but not having signed over the house.

Work is a struggle – bits are lovely – the rest is a struggle to concentrate.

Getting the Scarman money till the end of the year.

FP has got a full-time job in Bognor. Great for his personal security – not so good for our relationship.

Getting rung up again by former boyfriend K. Flattering, but scary and brought back memories of sad times for all of us.

Smoking again.

Pursued the VSO idea, but no time or energy to pursue it in detail at the moment. Do you create chances or do they come to those who wait?

Status issue. Being stirred by an inspiring interviewee.

Things going wrong with the house – lights/damp/heating and the car. Will it expire at 36,000 miles as my sister-in-law says?

Want my old life back.

J1 wanting his shoes and borrowing money, but not doing jobs he promised.

A* and the vulnerable statement. FH telling her reasons for leaving he never told me.

Feeling ashamed of being moany, but not being able to shake it off.