Sri Lanka January 2013

Happy New Year!

Friends sent such kind words of support and sympathy over my splitting with FP, imagining Christmas would be awful, but actually it wasn’t. The children were all home. As I write, FP is still here and only spent 2 days away at his sisters. Why is he still here? Million dollar question. He would probably say he has been unable to find a house/flat to his liking/that will take the dog, but that he is moving imminently. He spends less time at home, doesn’t come home sometimes and is dating. He is perfectly polite to me if a little distant at times.

Meanwhile so much has been going on I feel that making a big issue out of it serves no purpose, especially as I am not in another relationship.

My big news is that I am off on my VSO adventures again, this time to Sri Lanka with a leaving date not yet confirmed, but looking at March. It is for a year to work with VSO on their country exit strategy and with Oxfam GB. Presumably this means handing work over. I want to do it for a number of reasons. The work is likely to be far more intellectually demanding and stretching than what I am doing at the moment even if I am not being paid for it. The cause is as good as these NGO causes ever are. I have never been to Sri Lanka, but people say it is beautiful with 8 Unesco World Heritage sites and a great climate. The working language is English rather than the French I had to get up to scratch in in Cameroon. My house will have running water and electricity unlike in Cameroon. I will never get another chance like this. I have no grandchildren. My children don’t currently need me to babysit or help with anything else especially though J2 will find it tougher without me waiting on him, but that may not be a bad thing.

As I knew there was some likelihood of this before Christmas I have been in ‘prepare to evacuate’ mode which for some sane and other not so sane reasons means finishing decorating the house, interviewing for a new lodger, trying to put the horse on loan and even more check lists than usual.

I am preparing to say goodbye to Pilates, ceroc, bridge, weightwatchers, joyous rock music church, Sean the horse, my friends and my children though they are far more interested in visiting Sri Lanka than Cameroon and as it is a major tourist destination flights should be easier. Of course I also have to hand my notice in at school, but I am not doing that until I have a definite date.

Obviously I have to deal with the FP issue or my children will never forgive me. They see everything in black and white terms. He has also just had a prostate cancer scare, but it is small and localised so they are not advising treatment – just a wait and see philosophy at the moment.

As I am always interested in your opinion on things, what do you think I should do? Should I let him stay in the house while I am away or do you think then, as my children do, that he will never leave?