sexual harassment in Sri Lanka

I finished the book. For some reason I seem to gravitate towards SF when I am away.   I guess a lot depends on what is in the volunteer library. I avoid anything with sex in as I don’t enjoy reading about sex, family sagas bore me, non-fiction I’ll read intermittently but I like robots. This book had one called Hesperus. I guess it’s because they are very intelligent and always keep the women safe! I read one in Cameroon that had a robot called Yod that kept me in fantasies for months.

In Cameroon I called my male goat Yod, but whereas the robot was noble and unfailingly considerate towards its female human counterpart, Yod got too much to eat for an African goat, grew enormous horns and terrorised me. He had a free run of the compound and once he gained in confidence and had two women he used to chase me from the house to the gate. I also had a male cockerel who was a gorgeous specimen, but used to flap up vertically and peck any available flesh when I was in the hammock. No doubt as soon as I exited they were summarily executed. I would never repeat my animal husbandry experiment. I was even worse at crops apart from a leaf called folare, rather like a bitter spinach of which I grew enough for the entire village.

I also got briefed from the volunteers on sexual harassment in Sri Lanka this week-end. Apparently they all got it from vso. It is very different here from Cameroon. Basically there the men had as many wives as they wanted and would bring out the youngest and ask you ‘what relation do you think she is to me?’ snigger snigger and expect you to say daughter, grand-daughter? No I jest on the last one, but it got close. The last thing they were was sexually frustrated. Some of the older men just enjoyed a good chat  I never realised until then how starkly limiting no education is. You expect to be able to talk about crop growing, food preparation, their children, but the reality is that when people have no education they talk about nothing in a way that never gets beyond the banal or bitch about each other in witch- hunting ways.

They also revere age and where I was most of them died before 50 so I was treated with great respect. Women my age had a bit of interest from men in their 30s hoping for a foreign passport and maybe the odd ex pat who was getting bored of the natives, but otherwise you were safe.

My little excursion out of my micro bubble this week-end has shown it is very different here. First of all the volunteers told me that the thing we all have to deal with is men openly wanking, on buses, when you pass etc. Apparently they do this indiscriminately to Sri Lankan women as well. I can’t quite believe this yet, but there is definitely a higher level of interest and confidence of approach. In the hotel, if I sat on the verandah outside my room the men all came up for a chat. On the way back from the bus station to the guest house the trishaw driver had his hands all up my arms and round my neck as I was trying to get my luggage out telling me how sexy I was. It’s going to be a tight rope between being friendly and maintaining appropriate boundaries. As volunteers we are told constantly that our security depends on good relationships with local people who will then protect us. If you keep yourself too aloof you don’t integrate and it decreases your chance of a successful job outcome. Interesting times.

P.S I travelled for hours on Sri Lankan buses and never experienced the above.