I can’t live without a woman
I just posted parcel 2 today. I now know I have to keep it below 2kg. It should arrive in the next 6 days.
What happened this week? FB came down on Wednesday. He came out with ‘ I can’t live without a woman’, then when Em, the daughter he is actually speaking to, flew off to Colombia this week, ‘if anything were to happen to Em I could not carry on’, then much later ‘of course I have you now’. I think you get the drift. Not awesomely romantic, but then that’s not his style. He did go to the doctor about his asthma which is good. I too have been on websites getting my head round it and you have preventative inhalers and relieving inhalers and he has just been over-using relieving inhalers. Also, when you get an infection you need steroids to clear it, as I know with Jenny. He now has some steroids, but is then going for x rays and breathing tests when the medication finishes. Gosh! What it takes some men to get over their fear of doctors! I do need to be a little bit careful about how much he decamps to Luton. Luton became very comfortable with FP and I don’t want the same thing to happen with FB – girlfriend without too much effort if you know what I mean. However, that might be a bit mean as I am realising just how poorly he has been as the steroids kick in.
On Saturday we went to Waddesdon Manor (National Trust property in Buckinghamshire) which was totally OTT, but amazing in its own way. Built to look like a French chateaux in beautiful grounds, it was the country pile of the Rothschilds who made their amazing wealth in a few minutes on the stock exchange after the battle of Waterloo 1815 (as FB told me in great detail – all about them having faster pigeons to carry the news – while others got a mixed message by wire or something. He seems to remember more History than I do). The place was so chocka with antiquities you could not really appreciate the value of individual pieces, it was almost vulgar. However, we had a lovely day. They make their own wine and I bought a bottle of sparkling wine for brother Steve for his 60th later this month.
Yesterday J1 showed up for lunch. He has just passed stage 1, but they brought him in to tell him he was being too nice. He said he had struggled the last two weeks with the stress and intensity, the trauma of his previous phone incident and just feeling lonely. He misses his own place. He misses not having a girlfriend. I so often wish that I had had the resources to have bought a little 2 bed place in London. It would have been brilliant for all of us, but I can’t and FB keeps reminding me that my work as a ‘mother’ in that sense is over. The last marine got dismissed from his group this week as a total surprise. I can’t remember the exact figure of those left – I think it’s now about 7 out of 70. He flits in and out so fast A. It’s always a conversation in transit and as with you all, there is a moment of grief and loss in the good-bye. I don’t really understand that.
I am thinking about my job and social media at the moment. I have spent some downtime trying to get to grips with my tablet and looking at blogs, utube and twitter. I don’t think I could ‘put myself out there’ on a sustained basis.