a fraught Christmas January 2007

Happy New Year! I had one of the nicest New Year’s Eves ever which came as a total surprise. A crowd who are ‘regulars’ at the pub in Lilley just got together and FP and I actually stayed overnight at the pub. It was nice, because I know and like everyone, lots of nice conversations, a bit too much drink …….. just a lovely start to the year.

During my week off at Christmas we went back down to Hampshire to do more work on FP’s house which was supposed to be completed in November, but wasn’t because one of the ceilings caved in in a bedroom. However, we have a tenant moving in mid January so I spent 5 hours, as FP is blind, without my contact lenses, 6’’ away from the wall and ceiling trying to paint straight lines on the top and bottom of coving which he wanted doing in mauve getting stabbed by plaster peaks on my head. We still have to put on a side gate and finish emptying it of furniture, but we are nearly there. I have also had to re-order furniture in Luton to make space for items and endless boxes of tools.

While I have pretty low expectations of Christmas generally, it dipped in to a trough on Christmas day when A* threw the clothes I had bought her for Christmas at me, well the first one she opened and then the rest still in their wrapping paper because I had bought the first too big. Never mind she could have taken them back. To be honest, in the frenzy of unwrapping I don’t think the boys noticed or if they did didn’t say, but I was reduced to a wreck. Luckily, she went off to the pub to work and FP got the full water works as we were cleaning out the horse. I composed myself to pick her up from the pub and then in the car on the way back, although she had the choice of being with me or her brothers she spent the journey on the phone to FH and his Mum which I can handle, then Gill, going on about how much she was looking forward to seeing her and loved her, blah! Blah! By the time she went, having eaten only one full meal with us the whole time, but demolished 2 boxes of chocolates, 2 slabs of cheese et al solo I breathed a sigh of relief. I love her to bits, but there is just so much going on there at the moment with her eating and her anger at me we are better seeing each other in small doses.

Anyway, life is not too bad for her. My brother Rick is giving her a substantial increase on her monthly income from me so she doesn’t have to work for money until she finishes her degree and 2 days into staying at FH’s I got a phone call, which if it had been in front of FH and Gill was a mirror of the one she made to them Christmas day! I feel I should challenge her about her eating, but she just flares up so easily and one big result from her dad leaving and him not speaking to J1 is that I am terrified of her taking umbrage and cutting off all contact with me. When I was in counselling I tried several times to address the issues between us on advice, but each time got nowhere. I am hoping it will pass with time and lots of consistency in my mothering. It’s sad because I thought we had made real progress at Hay. I won’t be buying her clothes in future – that’s a certainty.

Since I last wrote FP and I went to stay for a long week-end at my brother’s new chateaux /converted mill in Bordeaux. It is huge with acres of land. We plan to go back there in the summer with all of mine and FP’s children at different intervals rather like we did in Sicily. R needs regular visitors while he is away touring in America to get on his diddy tractor and cut the grass, and for us in our still delicate financial state it is too good an opportunity to miss. I had more bad financial news last week as I got a steering wheel wobble, took the car in to get the tracking checked, both front tyres were worn right down on the inner rim and kwikfit think there is a problem with my front suspension. £200 for new tyres and back in the Citroen garage next week!

J1 was informative over Christmas with his detailed stories about his marines on-going training. Most of it sounds gross, but I guess essential in a battle zone. Lots of running soaking wet with heavy gear, getting little sleep, eating stuff to bung you up because you have to carry your poo about with you – you can’t bury it in case it gives away numbers to your enemies who may be tracking you. I am showing willing by reading the marines books I got him for Christmas after him and I now read EVERY article in the Daily Mail about war zones and how soldiers are treated. He and A* have been back and forth over the Christmas period. He is working in a clothes shop as the PR job unfortunately went in a restructure when the firm got taken over. Not a surprise. One day a week jobs are not cost effective unless you are at consultancy level.

J1 also got a lovely gift as FH’s Mum gave him her old car. I was so surprised, but so pleased and grateful for him. That’s quite a daring thing for her to do considering FH’s stand.

I am about to face my own restructure at work with a contract until March 07 so all is uncertain again.
No other news to report. I hope all is well with you and yours.