I get accepted for VSO

The big news this month is that I have got accepted for VSO! Finally, after waiting two months instead of the seven days after my interview I got the big yes. Obviously I still have to pass a medical and attend and not appear nutty at various training events, but the exciting thing in a month of doom and gloom about my work prospects is at least I have an option and some hope about the future. I am going on my first four day training event at the end of May.

And what will happen about FP I hear you say? I don’t know. I am sad he didn’t want to come with me or at least he said that it wasn’t he didn’t want to come with me, but with his mortgage and family commitments it just isn’t possible. I think he also didn’t want to leave his mates at the pub! I think he may be thinking that when push comes to shove I won’t go and he may be right. What happens if I get a fantastic job with loads of dosh, if J2 doesn’t go off to university in Wales, if I can’t leave Sean the horse?… there are endless possibilities, not least what am I going to do about cooking my own dinners?!!!!!

He says he will just stay at home and wait for me which is a bit more complex than it sounds as I am going to have to charge both him and A (grown up foster son) more for staying at home than either of them are currently contributing at the moment and which would still be below the going rate. I think I may need to get an agency in to manage the room lettings. The house is not in a posh enough state to rent out in its entirety and I want to avoid having to empty it of all personal stuff which is not only my storage, but J1 and A* daughter’s and possibly son J2’s too. Working out the details on this is going to be my next research project. Advice welcome. Lesley the lodger was going then changed her mind, but may still be going as she wants to get a job in Glasgow, live with her parents and save to travel.

I had another job interview this month and I have three lined up. Please keep your fingers crossed for me. The feedback from my last failure (and remember there were two last month) was that I need to prepare stock answers to the obvious questions from the job description. Application spot on, desk tray exercise spot on, now need to rote learn some stock answers apparently. No doubt I’ll try this and then mess up something else. I so need to get another job and move away from the torrid redundancy atmosphere here at EC1. It is taking up so much energy trying to be positive, continue working constructively and maintain my dignity.

I have done a little bit more paint stripping, spent Easter on shopping, food preparation and cleaning up after my children and their friends and have been enjoying the improved weather riding Sean. For some inexplicable reason, now he is 18 he is not acting like a deranged stallion anymore, does not jog constantly, but walks, appears to be responding to my commands and I actually get to ride after 14 years of having him without constant fear of what he might do. I have only fallen off 4 times all the time I have known him and only got concussed the first time (this was before I bought him!) when I fell on my head. The second time I grazed my arm badly which was my fault for not wearing long sleeves and the third and fourth time was when he shot off at right angles underneath me and I wasn’t gripping sufficiently and continued straight on over his head. The unfortunate thing with Sean is that he then doesn’t stop and wait for you to get back on, but actually runs off back to his field and waits outside the gate there which is a bit of a worry if there are roads in the way. I do love him though and he has been a great solace to me in sad times.