faith
Dear FB
Such faith! I was astonished to pick up your email this morning when I woke up. Did you not for an itsy second think, ‘nah! It’s uncool for a man to reply so quickly’? THEN, you even warned me that you would be away and maybe therefore would not be so responsive! This emotionally literate sort of behaviour has not been common in my world so thank you.
I was born in a bit of suburbia between Harrogate and Knaresborough in North Yorkshire and lived there until I was 18. After uni there were no jobs in the north and I got my first teaching job in Bushey, Hertfordshire and lived in a shared flat in Muswell Hill. Eventually I moved out to Luton because it was the only place I could afford a flat. I met my husband at York uni doing my PGCE and he had a flat in Cambridge. When we got married he got a job first near to Luton so we bought a small house then the one I live in now.
I had an interesting tour this afternoon of community spaces used as social enterprises in the sense that entrepreneurs get free rent for offering services free or at reduced rates in the local community. I can see where its application could benefit some of my sites. I am also impressed with how forward thinking and flexible ‘the firm’ (as my boss calls it) is.
Tonight I went to my ‘house’ group. This is only the second time and there is a story behind this in that I refused to go to the one for single women only where I was first allocated. How archaic and outrageous is that? Anyway, I have been sent to one in Dunstable which is a place with even worse town planning than Luton and worse binge drinking (not as many gun crimes though) that sees itself as superior. I have promised my spiritual mentor (who I used to manage when I was in charge of community safety at South Beds) that I will give it a go at least until Christmas. We talked about prayer and one older guy who is a leader in the church said an interesting thing. He said he only ever understood how God had answered his prayers by looking back and I can identify with that. As a single Mum in my 40s I lived such a precarious existence with big outgoings and responsibilities and I was always being made redundant, but I always seemed to get another job at the 11th hour and when I had 2 children at uni I got two jobs and I never got sick and I still had nice holidays. I was very blessed. I did my bit to help myself, but I was still very fortunate. So much could have gone wrong and it didn’t.
I have always had a faith, but it is only in the last year that I have begun to study and think about it in a more rigorous way.
I totally understand your hesitation about going back to Bermuda. In terms of DIY, I held on to my vision, but took the Al Anon approach of one day at a time or even the, ‘what one small thing have I done today that brings me nearer to my goal?’ It works all the time for me. Am I driven? Yes, probably. My focus compensates for the bits of me that are average. Travel safely. x