Being sick and end of life plans

I have been sick.  It meant I had a little break from my blog.  It was the first time.  Normally I have some spare stuff lined up for emergencies, but this time I had nothing and I had no heart for it.

 

A quite short relationship ended brutally.  I think after coming at the end of my match.com experiences and the fact I tried so hard and he was so mean, something inside me broke.

I threw myself into work and finally collapsed with exhaustion over a bank holiday week-end when a feverish viral infection set in and I became zombie.  I could still work, just, but when I got home my head hit the pillow at 7pm and all was black until 7am the next day and I was still exhausted.

 

I was burning up.  I had a rash all over my body but not my face.

 

Eventually I realised it wasn’t shifting any time soon and booked to see a doctor, but that was a 3 week wait and in the interim I did get better.  I got my energy back.

I have stopped a lot of socialising.  I now watch Netflix – a lot.  I am counting my blessings and being still and avoiding any angst other than what I have to deal with at work.  I am taking solace in my house and garden.

 

I am also thinking about End of Life plans – not end of life plans when you know you have a terminal illness but end of life plans when you are beginning to think of a future post work and what meaning you want everything to have.  Have my priorities changed for example?  Am I going to take more risks at work and put my opinion across more strongly?  It seems to matter a lot that my skills have free rein.

I have achieved possibility 1 which is germinating on some electronic platform as we speak and will give me oodles to write about.

I have one whopping dream which is currently possibility 2 that may come to nothing, but right now it’s enough that it is a possibility.  I am watering it.