Back working in England April 2011

The first 2 months back in England were really just taken up with visiting family – Edinburgh, Wales, Wiltshire, Bordeaux, London – and friends, who aren’t quite so widely flung. It was lovely to see everyone, because of course it’s hard to get the full impression in a letter – babies, new houses, new jobs, puppies – life moves on for everybody. I also systematically cleaned the house and garden which was a mammoth task. I am not a huge cleaning fanatic, but so much had been thrown back into cupboards or not in cupboards at all and lodgers have no reason to take as much care as owners would want to. It is now the third month and I have seen nearly all my friends, I have registered for and been doing supply teaching for the last month and I am now into serious DIY again, picking up where I left before I went away.

Because the weather has been so beautiful most of this has been outside with, I have to add, expert support when needed (rather than tedious repetitive labour I do) from FP. I haven’t quite creosoted the tree trunks in the garden, but not far off, fence panels, sheds, gates etc. We fixed the pond and got a new pump and now have 12 fish and lots of tadpoles. I am currently working on paint stripping and varnishing some outside windows and doors.

Sean the horse is fine though the lady gave him back the first day I returned as she had bought 2 other horses. He has his warts back under one front shoulder, but otherwise his rude good health for 20 years old is the envy of the yard when I do so little fussing and preening of him.

Supply teaching is a revelation. The difference between schools in terms of a positive learning attitude from both pupils and teachers is amazing and it isn’t geographically where you think it might be. Luton schools do not fare as badly as one I went to in St Albans. It brings home to me what a responsibility it is for parents to try to get their children into the better ones. I have also been taking year 6 in primary as there is a big demand for supply here. Without exception, every class I have taken has 1-2 autistic children in – who can’t sit in a seat or not talk constantly to themselves as much as others. I don’t remember there being so many autistic children when I taught before. The level of bullying in some places, along the lines of ‘your mum’s a c**t/whore’ to which they ‘have’ to respond just chills me to the core and nipping, punching and general physicality led me to see 2 teenage boys in tears on one day. Some schools are lovely to supply and very well organised, others are insufferably rude. I regularly find no work set, doors locked etc. I am not brilliant at it, not helped by not knowing the children or being able to prepare in advance. I will not scream like a banshee and as for many teachers words are their major tool make remarks about students that I consider abusive and hurtful. However, it’s not all bad. There are still lovely kids and inspiring teachers out there.

There is no news about VSO. Possibly I may go back with the next group on May 8th, but to be honest as time goes by and they prevaricate about whether they have enough funding or not I feel less desire to do so. If they are reluctant about it what are my chances of being able to deliver any better than I did last time? I have filled out my re-application paperwork so may get an opportunity to go elsewhere. In the meantime I am job hunting again. I had one interview when I got home, but have not been trying so hard since. If I am staying, I need to do more than just get by.

As so many people spoke to me about my letters I have pulled together and edited some 34 chapters and 28,000 words, drafted a ‘proposal’ and ordered a book from the library about ‘finding an agent’. Nothing ventured, nothing gained I guess.

J1 has been at Camp Bastion about a month, A* just got back from a week wine tasting with work in Bordeaux and J2 comes home today for a 3 week Easter break. I need to try and help him find a summer job.