a death in the family

Sorry to have taken a while in writing this week. There have been lots of developments and things happening this last week and this is the first evening I have had a bit of spare time or energy. First of all, one of my uncles on my father’s side of the family died last week. He was 85 and lived on a farm with his wife and 4 daughters. When I was growing up I spent a lot of happy Saturdays there playing with the animals and riding my cousin’s horses so I wanted to go up to the funeral. I drove up to Yorkshire yesterday and combined it with a visit to my mother’s grave as I haven’t been back to Yorkshire since she died in September 2002. It was a nice day in some ways, but very tiring and emotionally draining too. I drove to Sheffield and went up with my brother and sister-in-law with him giving me an ear bashing about encouraging the kids to write business plans for their time at university. Of course he is right, but A* and J1 are not in a mood to have identified for them at the moment exactly how many thousand pounds of shortfall they are currently facing. The funeral was full of no nonsense Yorkshire types – I had a guided tour by my cousin to look at her cows – it is just a different world and set of values, but nice ones none the less, if a bit bemusing to us townies.

I should be celebrating as FH signed the house papers over last week, but I then discovered that he had kept back one endowment worth about £21k due to mature in 2 years so I have gone back to the solicitor to make further enquiries. As I have paid for this for 20 years I think I deserve half. I am also beginning to speculate on what else he is hiding and with J1 in the doldrums and not speaking to me last week because there isn’t enough money for him to go on the ski trip I am beginning to wonder whether going for half the house and continued maintenance may not be a better alternative for them.

My friend Siobhan finished with her boyfriend because he put having an extra few pints of beer down the pub with his mates before taking her for a meal last Saturday. I was really worried about her sanity as her ex has disappeared off the face of the planet and has not signed the papers for her to sell the house which she can’t afford the mortgage on, but she rang to say they had made it up today even though there is still no news from the ex. Another friend in her 60s is being terrorised by her youngest son who is 19, still dossing at home and emotionally abusing her. It leads you to reflect on what does or doesn’t constitute good parenting and makes me glad that I had my sons young enough to not yet be terrified of their rages.

At points over the last week I have begun to feel as though the tide is turning and life is becoming good again, but I just get so knackered. Tonight I got home after seeing to the horse and took a load of stuff to the household tip before I sat down to eat, then it was the usual round of putting washing on, emptying the dish washer etc, persuading A* that I am paying for her car so she will take the boys to school in the morning irrespective of whether she needs to be in or not etc.

I went to see J1 in his AS exam play on Tuesday. He has such great stage presence. I hope he keeps his drama up and A* her music. I went to her jazz concert last Friday and she did her solo on the vibraphone spectacularly. I love these concerts and find the sight and sound of all these talented young people playing and singing extraordinarily moving.

Brother 2 is currently in Bermuda having married his second wife over there. They didn’t take their children with them which I thought was a bit sad, but then my brother has a different attitude to young people experiencing foreign climes to me.

That’s all my news Saul. I am currently working on a range of strategic documents at NHDC and about to attend emergency planning training for when we get that terrorist attack.