I forgave him

Darling J1

 

I forgave him.  Well, I didn’t exactly forgive him, but he rang me at 6.30am and acted as if nothing had happened and I went along with it.  Then he was a plonker again this week-end on 2 counts.  It’s almost too trivial and long-winded to recount.  Basically I went up to muck out the horse and left him in the pub.  I took an hour and as I was changing in the pub car park he came out and asked why I had taken so long.  Sometimes it just takes longer because I have more to do and I wasn’t rushing.  I asked if he had had enough and then we got in the car and drove home in silence.  I was silent because I thought if he is spoiling for a fight anything I say will trigger it.  We get home and he starts putting on his coat to leave because I was an hour doing the horse and then did not talk to him in the car and I never don’t talk to him in the car so there must be a problem.  This repeat script went on for about 30 minutes.  Can you believe it?  Is he a nutter or just so broken by his exes (I discovered they both left him) that he is desperately insecure?  A* picked up on his vulnerability immediately and said how unattractive she finds it in men.

 

The second thing he did that irritated me was talk inappropriately about sex in front of J2.  I can’t remember what he said exactly, but it was puerile and embarrassing.  Bear said something a bit cutting to shut him up.  J2 says he is like two people, one totally normal and nice with whom you can have an excellent conversation and a show off idiot.  J2 says he is worse when I am there.  He also said if he was worried about how long I was with the horse why didn’t he help?  Quite.

 

So the jury remains out.  I also paid for his and my cinema tickets this week-end and then had to pointedly ask him to buy me some coffee and chocolate.

 

I have been thinking that when you get through this I want to take you for dinner at Luton Hoo.  I took A* and I would like to take you.

 

Other news this week.

 

The big news this week is we met Phoebe.  She came for Sunday lunch (well she came Saturday pm actually, but I wasn’t here) and she is awesome.  Naturally pretty, but also sharp and intelligent.  She is 21, lives in a shared house in Stratford, rides a bike, plays in a hockey team, plays the clarinet and saxophone, works in the Albert Hall, teaches music, does ‘dramatic’ maths in schools blah blah!  AND she likes J2.  We are besotted and hopeful she will stick around.

 

I went to FB’s village this week-end and we went to Leamington and I looked at the flat where I lived in my second year out at uni and we went to Wildes wine bar which I didn’t really remember other than the name.  Late afternoon we went to see ‘August in Osage County’ with Meryl Streep and Julia Roberts.  It was amazingly acted and I liked it on the whole, but FB found it boring.  To be fair I think it’s the sort of film some men would find boring, but I thought FB might like it because he is in to relationships with the Samaritans, but he didn’t.  It has rained hard this week-end.

 

I got Iris’s handyman to fix my telly to the wall this week, but he could not get a signal.  We have not managed to get a signal out if it since FB got it working, then it stopped working when he tried to fix it to the wall.  But the TV engineer came today and it is now working.  There was a plug downstairs that needs to be in to send power to the Ariel.  I am very proud of my bedroom TV now.

 

I saw Siobhan this week and we analysed FB.  She is downsizing in to a much smaller place in Stopsley.  I worry about her, but she seems to be OK.  She decided to stop working after all which has tipped them in to financial constraints.

 

I am still pursuing my insurance claim for thew jewellery and wrote a stage one complaint letter this week as we are now 2 months down the line and they are still getting me to make repeat lists of the jewellery I lost.  They want photos and receipts, but that is ridiculous as the jewellery was mainly gifts, they didn’t ask for pictures when I renewed my insurance and I don’t belong to the generation that take endless selfies.

 

Otherwise work is fine.  I got paid.  Lots of sad, needy people come in the office every day and it makes you grateful to be you.  Church was all about extraordinary worship this week which was a lot of very loud singing with repetitive choruses.

 

Your name and age is currently my computer password at work so I get to think about you even more than normal.

 

I love you very much.  Mum xxx