downsizing May 2011

I am downsizing.

I got a job last week. I am having to swallow hard and remind myself that I am downsizing because the salary is about a third of what I was earning, but when I panic about it, I remind myself of exactly how little money I do now need to survive comfortably every month. In truth I am also extremely grateful to have got something – a recent panorama documentary was saying that increasingly people over 50 who lose their jobs never work again – and also one that is ‘potentially’ secure in these difficult times. I say potentially because I have had supposedly secure council jobs before that have turned out to be anything but secure.

The job also interests me. Basically I am a Behaviour Support Assistant in an all-girls secondary school in Luton. I go in to classes with badly behaved girls to try and keep them in the classroom. Apparently the girls swear a lot, but don’t attack you or throw tables & chairs so let’s be grateful for small mercies. It is school hours and holidays with no planning and marking and with luck, and no itchy feet on my part, may see me through till I retire.

They were lovely in their feedback to me and it is a brand new school building so great facilities, 80% Muslim so I may crack Urdu yet, and obviously no travel hassle – it’s a couple of miles down the motorway. I have told myself I will use the holidays to travel even if I have to do that on my own sometimes.

I applied for 18 jobs and had 2 interviews with feedback from another that they had 300 applicants and I had made it through 3 shortlisting rounds but not on to the interview list. Did I want to be considered for an internship or to volunteer?!!

I should start in a few weeks, but in the meantime we are still full on DIY. We are in the process of knocking down the kitchen walls into the breakfast room and conservatory and it is absolute dusty, filthy chaos, taking 3x as long as it was supposed to with disasters (like banging a hole through into the lounge rather than the conservatory!) and setbacks en route. However we are doing it properly with building regs at the council and they have already been in once to check the steel so I am reasonably confident the house is not going to fall down. The kitchen space looks enormous, but it has really only opened up a new chapter of endless ‘jobs’. However, when I am not working full time I don’t mind and I feel it is a productive use of this down-time.

The bathroom shower is also leaking badly because we didn’t apparently make sure the back wall was flat so that is going to have to be redone. We are currently looking at putting a bath in there so everyone can use that while we work on the shower.

I heard nothing from VSO other than when I instigated contact and studious ignoring of my original proposal. They are currently promoting photo-voice which involves giving people in these remote villages disposable cameras to take pictures of their problems, presumably for some advocacy initiative. I don’t feel very comfortable with that. The African people I met have already spent a year telling me very clearly what their problems are and while I wouldn’t mind doing the camera bit alongside some practical help I would feel uncomfortable otherwise when they are so desperate. People in power know what the problems are. I am just not convinced this is the way forward. If I am being bitchy it is the pet project of a volunteer young couple, based in the capital Yaounde, who have the ear of the director and want paid careers in development.

Then 2 days ago they rang me and said I could come back for 6 months and do my original projects. Is this because they now have about 4 volunteers in the Far North – think back to the 30 plus that were there when I arrived. I am in a tizz about it now. Your thoughts are welcome.

J2 was home at Easter, A* has got a promotion and J1 is ‘up front’ as he calls it in Afghanistan, leading his 80 men and sending lists of what he wants in his parcels now he is living on rations.

No more news. The garden is looking beautiful. I even did my own brick-laying for my raised vegetable patch – lessons from FP of course.