Christmas 2003 – I begin my letters

My mother on the right and her siblings.  Her sister on the left was called Hazel who I was named after.

 

Hope Christmas went well and your New Year celebrations. Did you go to the local pub or a private party?

It was lovely to hear you though I was upset if not surprised by your news. I knew you were in a great deal of pain at the time, but you are a private person about such things.  Obviously I have thought about you a lot over Christmas.  In spite of your view that I didn’t really like you, I do – you touch my heart in a warm place – even if I am otherwise totally unsuitable for you!  I would like to support you in an unobtrusive, low key way, that you can take or leave as you feel fit and letter writing is my solution.  That doesn’t mean I won’t get in the car (once it is fixed) and visit – but face to face may require more energy on your part when you may not be up to it.

I am back home and typing this absolutely gagging for a cigarette which I am trying to give up as my new year resolution – not because I especially worry about the health aspects but a, it’s expensive, b, you have to smoke in horrid places that aren’t very relaxing, and c, I’ve used it as a prop and I want to not need it any more.

Cornwall and Christmas were fine. Cornwall was a bit weird because it was very much FH’s place and I went to visit all his favourite haunts.  I just had to see them all once more, but I really don’t want to go back again.  However, I might feel differently in two years, or I can swop the timeshare for somewhere else.  7 days of relax was also enough.  I want a bit of stress and tension back or I’ll die of boredom!  I did the beach walks, swam in the pool and drank some disgusting oversweet champagne from Tesco on New Year’s Eve.  Saturday I took down all the Christmas decorations, will at some point plant the tree (because I always get them with roots, but only one has ever taken in 17 years) and think plans for 2004.  The whole thing was more cathartic than last year, but I’ getting to the end of farewell to FH ceremonies and surprise myself sometimes by beginning to feel more positive.  I even thought, (the sacrilege of it) that Cornwall was a grey old place and far too many people looked poverty stricken and exhausted!

Did you buy yourself/ receive anything special for Christmas? Are you a lover of the Lord of the Rings films?  I went to see the most recent one and thought it was a disappointment after film 2 and the fantastic battle for Helm’s Deep – giant elephants were just too OTT for me.  I will probably go and see ‘Cold Mountain’ soon as I like my films.  I read a couple of lightweight novels when I was in Cornwall and am currently ploughing through a non-fiction about setting boundaries for children – every now and then I think I am getting too soft with mine!

Back to work tomorrow, two new people joining my team – I’ve been given the task of reviewing/managing all the community centres and halls in the district – and one person short in the rural areas so it is going to be busy. I also have to do Sean the horse every morning and evening now we are in to the winter.

I managed, goodness knows how, to mess up FH’s in car CD player and burst a tyre with a nail (did I tell you he was kind enough to lend me his company car to go to Cornwall – you could have knocked me down with a feather!). I swear this was not revenge or anything, just misfortune.  A* heard that she didn’t get in to Cambridge, but she doesn’t seem too upset about it.  Otherwise no more news.  The car insurance people rang me up in Cornwall to tell me the guy has admitted liability so I should get all my insurance stuff through now.

Take care. I’ll write again soon.